It's nearly 3 am and I sit here thinking of the last 4 1/2 years. Contemplating how my life has changed. I have always hid behind a strong front, and I'm sick of being strong. I'm sick of putting on the brave face and putting on my big girl panties to face the day. I just want to lay down and let the world over run me right now.
I know. I'm depressed.
I hate living with my mom. I really do.
No. Like seriously can't stand it.
Like the whole....I.want.to.pull.my.hair.out.and.scream....type of hate.
I know I really don't have a choice in the matter right now. I mean I AM working at it. I have goals and a plan set in motion....but it's not coming soon enough. Lord knows I am not a patient woman when it comes to what I want.
If I want something....I want it now.
I feel like I have lost all control of my life. I have zero privacy. I have to tell my mom where I am coming and going at all times. She pries into my mail, she screams at my kids, and she complains about everything.
You know, kinda like I'm doing right now.........
I usually have my softball to work frustrations out on. However I'm done for the season now.
Memo to me: Old people can't dive into 3rd base like they used to.
Screwed up my knee. Tore my meniscus, and who knows what else. I need to have an MRI done and all that fun stuff.
So I'm pretty much laid up at the moment.
Gotsta love getting older.
The kids are all doing well though. Including Trouble Maker Magoo.
Rhett didn't qualify for summer school this year. It's kinda sad. He loves school so much. This also means that he's not getting any type of therapy. Kinda makes me wonder if he really needs it though. He is still walking like a drunk, but that's always been him. Alot of that has to do with his tethered cord, and the damage that it caused before we caught it and it was repaired.
So will PT really help that?? I dunno.
As far as speech goes, he doesn't really qualify for it. The kid talks like a teenage girl on steroids. he yaks our heads off all day long.
In complete sentences......and randomly blurts out MOO COW!!! I think he has a tick with that one. Heeeheeeheee.
Fine motor, I know we could use help in though. He can properly use scissors....which is really scary I might add......and can draw shapes. But his hand eye coordination isn't all that grand. Of course we don't have insurance so we can't go private.
What can ya do.
We are starting a series of Dr. appointments while he is out on summer vacation, so I'm pretty sure we'll have some upcoming surgeries. He needs to have tubes put back in. They fell out and he's had ear infection after ear infection.
We see ENT on Tuesday.
Then in July we go to the Down syndrome clinic, and we are going to discuss potty training. Which he is struggling with. Not that he can't tell us when he needs to go, he is mentally ready but he can't control his bladder. He coughs, sneezes, or laughs and he pees. Might end up seeing a urinologist on that one. It could be a number of things, from as simple as just low muscle tone, to his bladder being damaged from his tethered cord.
In August we see the cardiologist. This is the appointment that keeps me up at nights. I really don't like cardiology appointments. They turn me gray. I know one day they are going to say, yep. Time to replace that valve. I just don't even want to think of it. I hate surgery.
Rhett's favorite book right now is NO DAVID. And of course his favorite page is the one where David runs down the street naked. He just giggles and laughs and falls over when he reads it. It's a pretty simple book, but to give Rhett credit, he has the whole book memorized.
Dakota is going to be in a self contained classroom in High School this upcoming year. It's something I have kind of been pushing for. Full inclusion in grade school VS full inclusion in high school is a totally different story. I know he's upset with us for doing it, but he has struggled SO MUCH in Jr. High, and I feel like he will do so much better in this type of a setting.
He is getting so big. He's 6ft tall, and 180 lbs. His voice is deep now, and he has facial hair. I'm not sure when all of this happened, but I'm pretty sure it was overnight.
Hunter and Chloee are doing well. Hunter is such a big helper. Him and Rhett still have that special bond that is unlike anything I have ever seen before. He is enjoying scouts, and hanging out with his friends this summer. I have kinda let him have run of the town on his bike, and he seems to enjoy that.
Chloee......hmmmm I might have created a monster. She can be a brat. But she is such a good kid. She blew out of second grade like a hurricane. Her reading and reading comprehension skills were crazy. She is functioning on a 5th grade level. She is 8 yrs old and reading things like Little House on the Prairie and Fablehaven. Every Time I go in to check on her when she disappears for a while she has her nose in a book. It's so cute.
She's gotten to be our "informant". I am working really hard on teaching her the difference between something important to come and tell me....(like the boys bloodying each other's noses) and things that don't need to be worried about.......(MOMMMMMMM!!! Dakota farted on hunter!!) Yeah. We have alot to work on.
But she always does what she's told, and she very seldom complains about anything......unless it's her brothers.
Hmmmm normal girl.
We've had a pretty good summer so far.
I took the kids hiking........
To the lake......
We've played in the pool at the house.....
And we even went camping......
To which I might add, that it totally rained that night and **MOM** was the only one that got completely soaked in the tent.
Ahhhh good times good times.
Hope to make lots more summer memories......if only this damned knee will heal.....
5 days ago