Friday, May 22, 2009

Dear My Wonderful Anonymous Friend....

Generally I would delete your comment and move on, you know, just because you are not worth talking to. However IF you had read that post you would have seen that when we do these "exclusive" events as you call them they are either with Make-A-Wish or Hope Kids, which are two organizations that provide fun events not just for our child who has a life threatening illness, but for ALL of our children.

In this case it was Hope Kids that we went with.

Hint: The matching black shirts that all my kids are wearing that say Got Hope, and Hope Kids, ya we didn't just have those made up for fun.

Unless you have been living under a rock, you would realize that many celebrities love to do things for charitable organizations. Whether it be for publicity or just because they are genuinely good people who care about what families like ours goes through.

Now I didn't just go to these organiziations and say, hey!! My kid is sick I want to be part of you guys. They actually have forms that are filled out by Rhett's doctors stating that he does indeed have a life threatening illness.

That's the only reason we are able to do these things, and my dammit my kids deserve it.

Also, just thought I might want to warn you that come Tuesday there's going to be alot of Taylor Swift concert pictures and alot of talk, because we got some awesome seats to her concert.

You should also be warned that Chloee sung her heart out for those tickets, and her posing with David Osmond is because he was one of the judges of that contest. It wasn't an "exclusive event" either. The whole public was invitedm and it was all free.

Did you need me to mail you our medical bills and Andy's 500 dollar check that he just got for working 2 weeks, along with our rent, and our utilities, not to mention food, and gas too?

I sure would like to see how you can magically stretch that money to pay for everything.

And, um it's been a while since we claimed poverty in fact not until today have I been upset at our low income when Andy's check from the dealership was pretty damn close to nil.

In fact I do believe that I was upset that we lost our insurance for Rhett because Andy made too much, and that Rhett's medical supplies were so expensive.

Ya, I bitched and moaned, and picked myself up and dealt with it.

Just like we will now.

At least with this small check we should get medicaid. See, I do see the bright side of things my dear anonymous friend.

I'm not dealing with anything that a billion other parents who have children with special needs are. But, I will continue to be apart of these amazing organizations who have come together to provide some amazing activities for our family to help us deal with all the crap in our lives.

And dammit, I won't let people like you make me feel guilty for having fun with my kids.

We aren't going on big extravagant vacations, and we aren't living in a beautiful luxury home and own lots of toys and expensive cars.

If I ever have or do any of that stuff, and claim poverty, by all means slam me, because then I need it.

I love that you call me a liar, because everything that has come out of my mouth is the truth. I don't lie.

Oooh...Looky here, how did this get on my blog?

Would that be back up to the fact that we really have lost our home?

Oh no, now what's this?

Oh my goodness it's just one of the many letters stating that Rhett no longer has coverage, and we have to pay the rent on his oxygen concentrator.

That's just the letter for the concentrator...that doesn't account for all of his other medical supplies we had to pay for the last two months.

Sheesh, when you take into account all of that, even if you are making good money, once the medical supplies are paid for, which do come first before any other bills, then that doesn't leave much leeway for food, rent, utilities and gas.

So I'm just sayin, before you get all high and mighty hiding behind your sweet little computer, try getting your facts straight.

I know alot of people who are out there begging for money and have stuff all over their blogs saying how bad they need money, yet have beautiful homes expensive cars, and get a salary every month, where as our pay is based on commission and we never know how it will be from month to month.

Yes, and before you go off on Andy getting a new job, he is working on it. The auto industry is going downhill fast, and it's time to get out.

However on the other hand we are so thankful that he has had a job that he has actually been able to do since he had his back surgery. All though selling cars is high stress in other areas, it did provide him with some income while he was giving his back time to heal and strengthen.

We have sold everything we own. All we have is the nessicties that we need. We have zero debt. Not one credit card, no car payments, nothing.

We just try to survive, and our lives are so much better than when we had all the toys. We are better because we realzie that we just need each other.

And Chocolate.


Lacey said...

You go girl. This person I'm sure has no idea how much medical care costs. I have great insurance and I'm amazed at how much I put out every month for perscriptions and equipment. Hopekids is a great organization, of course you introduced us to them. but to get to take your kids to a movie and not worry about cost is so nice. we have enough to worry about, like if we will stay out of the hospital this month. People really have no idea. walk a day in our shoes, will ya?

Wendy's Mom said...


This person is not worth getting all upset over, although I understand where you are coming from big time.
Unless someone has had to deal with someone that is sick and all the medical bills, they honestly have NO idea what it is like to have NO insurance and have to decide whether you pay for medical supplies, food, rent, or utilities. They need to watch what they say to others because they could very well be in this same place at any time.
I know what it is like because I am going through it. I do have some help but I also do without a lot of things as well. Most people consider having a lot of things as a necessity and I consider it as luxury items. I am talking about things like electricity, housing, telephone with internet, or/and FOOD! I know you understand this all to well!
NO ONE has any right to slam you or anyone else unless they know the person personally and know it is not the truth. How in the HELL do they know what your life is really like through a computer! People like this just ticks me off.

Sorry for going on but this is a touchy topic for me right now. Heck I had people tell me that grieving over my Dad's death when it had only been a few months since he passed away was ridiculous and that I needed to get over it!
Sorry again, I am just trying to makea point that some people are just really cruel unless they have been there and know what it is like!


datri said...

You tell 'em, Pam! People who have not been through all of this stuff have no idea. And I'm sure you'd trade every one of those "exclusive" events for a healthy kid.

Mrs. C said...

*I* haven't been through this stuff. *I* have no idea. But you know... posting nasty on other people's blogs anonymously is one of those things that common sense should tell you isn't polite.

If it helps any, I've also seen some doooozie comments other places. I know it hurts when people come off smug. I know it hurts worse when the reason they're smug is because their life is way easier than yours and they think the reason for that is that they've done everything better than you.

That part, I know. Hugs.

Niksmom said...

Dear anonymous @$$hat commenter, I've got one word for you: KARMA
May you *never* have to walk in the shoes Pam or many others have walked in.

Oops. sorry, more words. Whenyou have a child with significant illness or disability, your life changes drastically in ways that are not measurable in dollars and cents. It's stressful and isolating. Organizations oftn organize outings for these kids and their families b/c they might not otherwise be able to afford either the cost or the effort it takes to get out of the house or hospital. It's a huge gift and it's called "respite." Look it up.

Since when did having a child with diabilities/medical issues negate our right to the pursuit of happiness, anyway?

Midwest Mommy said...

Seriously why do people judge and then some who do judge don't even have the nerve to leave their name. Good for you for calling them out on it. I hope they are ashamed of themselves.

stephanie said...

Pam, I'm sitting here with my mouth hanging open.Are you serious!!I'm at a loss as to how any one can leave such a hurtful comment.You, on the other hand left a great reply, much more than I could have done.It would have been one big BLEEP!! I'm glad you didn't just delete and forget, sometimes people need to be put in there place, when ignorance is running rampant.

And... bring on the pictures of the Taylor Swift Concert, we love her too!!Sooo glad you are going!

Aimee said...

Pam... ignore the comment. I do love the reply though. People seriously suck and then he or she didn't even have the guts to put their name at the end of the post! I'm seriously thinking that they're just jealous!!!

I'm so sorry about the ins thing. I hope things work out for you very soon. I do have ins and are very grateful. However, I have to have a procedure done soon and when the doctor's office went to verify the benefits, they told them that this would only be covered at 50% as it's an elective procedure. Elective my a$$ like I would have them cut me open if I didn't need to be cut open. So now I'm arging with them. So this week, I do feel you pain a little. Hang in there girl!

Anonymous said...

Mmmmm chocolate, family, and friends is what makes the world go round.

Pam, as much as you should ignore comments like that, I'm glad you were able to get some frustration out!


Ps, you still owe an update on a certian other page. LOL

The Empey Fam! said...

You GO GIRL!! That stupid ass is a jerk!!! I am sorry they wrote that you and you do not deserve that!!!

James and Summer said...

Anonymous - How dare you! As upset as I am at just thinking about your comment and spoiling the 'bits' of luxury and happiness that Pam and her family so deserve - I just hope and pray that you never have to know the stress level of having children with disabilities and being so worried that you can't eat - but that's okay because there isn't any food to eat anyway - and no money to buy any. Not to mention the full-time job of keeping up with all of the bills, even when you have ins., and still have to figure out how to pay.... All of us grow with the hope of having a 'great' life. Some of us have to learn to make it great - despite the circumstances- and thank GOD for wonderful people who are willing to recognize that there are ways that they can HELP others rather than tear them down. May you never really know... but then again in not knowing - you also miss out on the great JOY that simple and often overlooked bits of life can bring.

Pam - you amaze me in every way! I thought that living with the stresses that we have were hard - until I began to learn about you and your beautiful family. I wish I had found your blog before we left Springville. We pray for you, fast for you, and wish we could help in so many other ways - maybe soon. I remember the kind of difference that even $5 made when we were in the 'thick' of things. Our 'thick' of things only happens sporadically... for that I am grateful. But we have been there, and we will be there again. It is inevitable. May the Lord bless you with peace and confidence in His ability to provide whatever the needs of the moment may be.

Carter Family said...

Pammy I lubs You... I have so many things I want to say right now... You know that We are all doing the best we can and ignore the stupid people. Or find out who they are and we will all jump em lol!

Yes because we all know how "exclusive" these events are and the bird family IS the only family in the world that was at any of these events..

I lubs you, and you are doing a great job!

Mommy to those Special Ks said...

Ugh you gotta just LOVE Ms. Anonymous all high and mighty on their throne of judgment! Don't worry about them, Pam! I think it's awesome that your family is included in so much! You all deserve it!

Anderson Family said...

Pam - your reply is so well written and to the point. I hope the anonymous person feels really lousy for leaving a comment like that - especially anonymously.

People do not understand medical costs and insurance. Even if you hit your out of pocket maximum - you still pay doctors copays, prescriptions, coinsurance for medical equipment etc. These costs add up quickly to several hundred dollars a month.

That anonymous person shouldn't have ever left a comment - it wasn't fair to you or your family. We hope you enjoy the activities your family gets to enjoy every once in a while because you do deserve them. And your other kids deserve fun outings to because they often have to sacrifice a lot when they have a sibling who needs a lot of medical attention. Have fun at Taylor Swift!!


Our Crazy Life said...

I don't know if Andy has tried them or if his back can handle it, but I know that Nesley's is hiring and they have awesome insurance!!!

Anonymous said...

Way to go Pam!! I can't believe the audacity of some people. Don't let them get to you...misery loves company and whoever that is obviously has a miserable life!!! Keep up the good work Mom ;)

Tanya from MT

Carey said...

Oh Pam, you don't even owe that person the time of day. Move on girlfriend ... some people!!!

As for your fun day, I'm EXCITED for you, that's fantastic! We get invited to fun (and free) events too. Some are sponsored for kids w/ disabilities, others kids w/ cancer, ... so, that's what they're doing it for, so why not go and enjoy? I'm like you, I feel like my kids have been through hell and back and they deserve it!

Sometimes when things are put on for kids w/ disabilities, I feel a little guilty ... Like, I'm sorry you can't go b/c you have "normal" kids. Almost like I shouldn't put it on my blog b/c I feel like I'm bragging (hey, my kid has Down syndrome .. awesome!) Is that crazy? Shoot, why not? Gosh darn it, we are soooo lucky our kids have T21. The others just don't even have a clue!

PS - Sorry I'm kind of random ;)

Miz Kizzle said...

Anonymous is a jealous and cowardly waste of space. I just stumbled onto your blog. Your kids are beautiful and you're obviously doing a great job as a mom.
I'm terribly sorry about your financial situation. It makes me feel guilty (and very undeservedly blessed) to have healthy children, a loving husband and no financial worries. How someone could be rude to your family is a mystery to me. It's beyond mean-spirited. I wish I had a few extra million to donate to families who are struggling. We do what we can but there is so much need out there among good people who don't deserve to be in such a tight financial spot.
You and your family deserve every bit of fun you can get. I hope things improve for you soon.



You have just got to read this lady's post it is fabulous and is perfect for dealing with rude people.

Love you guys!

Roger, Polly & The Boys

Debbie Yost said...

I hope you don't waste anymore time worrying about "anonymous" Don't give her your energy. You're doing a great job and you do deserve the free/fun stuff. Your life is not easy. We all know you'd trade it all for a healthy little boy and no worries. **hugs**

Michelle said...

Geesh - that's all - geesh! You know, at very least, that I understand. To heck with this person! Focus on the positive. I'm trying - glass half full half full! xo

Lily said...

Hi Pam,
I came over to check up on your cute family and this is what I found :-( I'm so sorry you have to deal with this on a personal blog about your family.
I know you and your beautiful family in real life and I know you are doing the very best you can for your family and will continue to do so. I know you not only deal with Rhett's issues but other family issues as well and whenever I see you in person you have always been upbeat, and willing to help out.
Sending love and hugs your way.

Molly C said...

I do NOT understand people like anonymous. we aren't here very long, and life is hard enough as it is. WHY make things more difficult for each other?

My stomach medication is $70 per month, and I am sure that is nothing compared to what you spend for Rhett's stuff. I often think about your family, and the card you have been dealt. I remember being terrified when you took him in to rule out cancer. I just kept saying "not Rhett. not again. not more for this family to handle"

HUGS Pam. Love your blog, and your family. Hugs to Rhett!

Shari said...

That's right! You go girl! Nobody should be questioning you! I can't stand those people and they are cowards anyway hiding behind anonymous! Don't let them get to you! Hang in there!

Victoria Strong said...

The fact that someone wrote that on your blog boggles my mind. Clearly they have never watched their baby struggle for life, had to look into their terrified eyes and be helpless to change things. Clearly this person has no freaking clue what it is to be given a life altering diagnosis. Clearly this person has zero empathy. Don't sweat the small stuff -- you have got bigger fish to fry...and you are doing an amazing job!

carolyn q said...

I am sorry that you felt attacked. I am sure that person just doesn't understand and if anything is jealous of the "FUN" things they see you blog about. They don't understand all the "UNFUN" things that are associated with it as well.
I hope you can just move on and not allow this person/comment effect you because with all you are dealing with, there are much more important things to be dealing with.
I am glad that you are participating in Hope Kids. They are a terrific organization and so it Make A Wish. I wish IHH was to that level, but we are trying.
Talk to me about camp okay?

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