Friday, April 10, 2009

My Brain Hurts....

So if you haven't noticed, it's been a while since I posted. Not like me, but I'll be honest. I'm tired.

It's been a really long and emotional week. There was alot to do to get ready for the funeral, like buying clothes. My kids have all grown so much their church clothes just no longer fit. I was excited to find some cute things in The Children's Place at the mall.

Chloee looked absoutley beautiful in her pink dress with polk a dots, and Rhett and Hunter looked so handsome in their orange shirts and sweater vests. Dakota has grown so much. We actually ended up getting him clothes in the mens section which made him look like a young man rather than my little boy. He is taller than I am.

It's amazing how fast our children grow. I sat and watched them today, thinking that I have missed so much of their childhood. Just being busy with life in general, and thinking that I need to step back and slow down. Take it all in, because I don't ever want to forget how my children feel in my arms, or the feeling of pure sweet joy that I get when they call me mommy.

I want to remember everything about this chapter in our lives.

My grandma's funeral was beautiful. She was happy and peaceful. You could just feel it everywhere around you. She is where she needs to be now. Her poor body was so frail and so worn out. Now she is free from it all. She is healed from her heart problems and her skin issues. She doesn't have to throw up anymore. My heart just broke the last few months as she couldn't keep anything down. She was so tired.

I know that she is with my grandpa again. She is with her son who passed away 2 years ago, and she is with her twin sister whom she loved so much. I will miss her, my kids will miss her. They all had such a special bond.

I am tired too. But just emotionally. It will get better, and although there will forever be a void in my heart, I know that this is the way things are supposed to be. I know that I will see her again some day.


Colleen said...

My Grandpa died 15 years ago this past March, and I still miss him. It doesn't hurt as bad now, but it did take me awhile to get over his loss. You will heal in your own time. Just remember all the great memories of her, and share stories with your kids. I think that is all part of the healing process of losing someone. Hugs to you and your family!

ShaRhonda said...

Praise God! I am so glad that you had such a great relationship w/ your Grandma. My prayers are w/ you!

Tiff said...

It's hard losing a family member but Aren't you so glad she's not in any pain any longer? I will keep you and your family in my prayers

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