Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Trials, Love and Tears.....

I know everyone is struggling with the economy and life sucks for pretty much everyone right now.

Andy and I are blessed. We have each other and our children. We struggle financially. I think anyone with a child that has special needs, and who has a plethora of medical issues does. It becomes your new normal, and you can't remember what it was like before everything happened, nor would you have it any other way.

Andy's a car salesman. That means he gets straight commission. For a few months he did really well. The struggling economy hadn't hit Utah too hard. But now things are rough. Now we are really worried about how we are going to pay rent and utilities.

Last night I was really stressed about it. I was lying in bed wondering what we are going to do, how we are going to do it, and what the future will hold. I was watching TV, and everyone else in the house was asleep.

About 2 am I heard my favorite little three year old feet, padding down the hall into our room. I wish you all could hear that little sound, and share the joy of knowing what is coming as soon as those little feet reach you.

I laid there for the 3 or 4 seconds that it took for Rhett to reach me, and marveled in the joy of the sounds that make my heart soar. As soon as he saw me, he gave me a sleepy grin. He rubbed his droopy eyes with his chubby little hands and raised his arms to me. "Up Mommy", he says.

I picked him up and was the lucky recipient of one of his gigantic bear hugs. Then I laid him in between Andy and I. He pulled up the covers and snuggled down in between us, and put one hand on Andy's back, and one hand on my arm. He looked at me and grinned that sleepy grin again. "Happy, Mommy."

Through my tears I said, "Yeah buddy. This is what happiness is all about"

My sad tears turned into happy tears.

I love each one of my kids so much. I am so blessed to have such an amazing husband, and a strong marriage. We might get on each others nerves once in a while, and Andy may be gone alot trying to provide for our family, but the moments that we spend together are so precious.

Rhett's favorite treat has always been M&M's.

I have always told him that I love him more than all the M'n'M's in the world.

Chloee is loved more than all the Daisy's in the world.

Hunter is loved more than all the stars in the sky.

Dakota is loved more than all the fish in the sea.

And Andy. Andy is my knight in shining armour. My soul mate. I love him with my whole heart and soul.

After pondering this, it helped me to realize that once again, money really didn't matter. It usually works out in the end.

Besides, I have faith.

Faith guides us through the tough times, and Love guides us through everything.


Mommy to those Special Ks said...

Great post. I feel sad for those who don't know the love of an angel :).

RK said...

Well said, and thanks for sharing. Many blessings to you guys...

Em said...

I love that story. I can not wait to have a little one in our home, to love and snuggle!

AZ Chapman said...

Man that post took me back to when I was small enough to sleep in mom and dad's bed.

Debbie Yost said...

Yep, those little pitter patter of feet are the best! I'm glad you found happiness in your sadness. Sometimes it takes a moment of being down to realize just how good we have it. :-)

Rachael said...

this post is perfect + wonderful in so many ways. the perspective, the sweetness. thank you for sharing it with us.

momtojesse said...

Awww. It seems like Rhett knew the exact moment he was needed. He is such a sweet kid. I wish everyone could know the happiness we know with our kids.

Kari said...

Hi friend! It's been a while I have been busy and bloggy MIA! I love this post. Pretty special. As you know I am a single Mommy and financial stress is my game. LOL I usually laugh about it because crying is so much harder. I always self talk and usually it sounds like... The best memories I have from my childhood are the little things I did with my family. None of them include what type of home we lived in or what kind of car Mom or Dad had. Just the little precious moments together as a family! :)

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing such personal and precious moments with us. I wish all of us had the pure innocence and love that Rhett has. Your family may be going thru hard time financially, but you are blessed beyond measure with what of a family. God Bless You. Susie

Aimee said...

I haven't been reading any blogs for a couple of days because of work but I really wish I would have saw this on Wednesday. I'm going through a little bit of a tough time right now and this just made me feel so much better!!!

Tara Marie said...

Pam that was one of the most beautiful posts I have ever read.

We are truly blessed by our families.....and it is so true, love that binds is truly the greatest treasure there is.

I share with you the trials of this economy and I pray that it begins to improve so none of us have to struggle and worry so.

I am so blessed to have you as a friend....and sister in this journey.

Wendy's Mom said...

I agree with all the other comments. This was a very touching post and so very true. Not everyone understands just how precious family is.
Family produces love which makes happiness in ones life. Money does not make one happy!! I agree it sure helps to have money but it will never love you back. Family and Friends will!

BTW, you have not posted in almost a week! Is everything okay???


Tiff said...

Great post! We are feeling the crunch her now that my husband has manditory days off with no pay. It's hard but we are happy. And that's the best feeling!

MaybeMama said...

What a sweet, sweet moment with your son. That real is what happiness is!

the economy has hit us hard too. we had to do the hardest thing i have ever done in my life this past week... we had to back out of the adoption and release beautiful Angie.

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