Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Random Ramblings.....

Fine. I admit it.

I have been neglecting the blog world. Not just my wonderful friends and your blogs, but my own blog as well.

Life is busy. I am busy. I have been doing some soul searching and trying to figure out who I am now that my life doesn't revolve around taking care of a sick child 24/7.

The last 3 years it seems that I have forgotten someone important.


Of course I wouldn't trade it for anything. I mean, where would Rhett be today had I not quit my full time job to be his mommy/nurse. I threw myself into making sure that he has the very best life that he can, and that included many surgeries and hospital stays to get to where he is now.

But he is soaring higher than I ever thought possible.

When he was first born I was told by many specialists that he would do most of his learning in the first 8 years of his life, and then he would start to taper off a bit, and won't learn so rapidly. I was also told that during those 8 years, that the first 3 were the most important to his learning and development.

I have often felt that we have lost precious learning time due to so many health issues. I had in my mind these visions of sitting with him spending one on one time going over letters of the alphabet, learning colors, and maybe even working on reading.

I don't think I ever envisioned his first 3 years fighting for his life.

But, things don't ever really work out like we plan. I have learned that first hand.

Even when life is filled with trials and ups and downs, we have a chance to change things and make things better.

You are the only person that can make you happy. Even if you are being dragged around and thrown under semi after semi, you can either choose to be happy, or choose to feel sorry for yourself.

Me? I want to be happy.

But how do I make myself happy? Who is Pam? What does she want for herself, not those around her.

For so long I have held off on my dreams, and now I am ready to pursue them. Not all at once, just little by little.

Our condo has a clubhouse with a gym, so I am going to start working out and eating more healthy. Whenever I play softball in the spring and summer, I always am energized because I am exercising. So simple solution is to start exercising again.

I have been having some woman health issues lately. I don't know what will happen or where this path will lead, but for now it's time to take care of my body.

Anyhow, that's where I am in life. Now that I have decided that this is what I need to do for me, well, I hope to be back to blogging. I miss it. I miss my friends, I miss reading about all of you.

Okay, enough about me. I bet you are all wondering what Sir Rhett has been up to.



I cannot believe how much he has changed since he started school. He is so grown up, and this little boy has himself some very good big boy manners. He even listens when I tell him no.


He has also learned some things that are not so good. Like, digging for gold....

Not the best picture, it was taken with my cell phone.

Rhett has also learned to open his own fruit snacks and Pop Tart wrappers. He is quite the little teaser, and will come up to you act like he is gonna give you a kiss, then say. "Heyyyyyyy" and turn around and run away.

He's also into the "mine" stage. You'd think I'd hate it, but I don't. I love it that he is acting just like any other child who is 3. I have to grin every time he does it. Granted, not while he's watching.

Hard to put on a straight face when I am so proud of even the naughty things he does. There have been so many times I never thought we would make it this far, yet here we are, and I am loving every minute of it.

He loves the bus, and gets on it with a great big smile, and a "Hi" to his driver and tech. His teachers love him, just like anyone else who has ever met him. I'm telling you, one glance into those baby blues and you're a goner.

Life is good, and things always work out in the end.

Today is Andy's birthday and we got to spend the day together. We went on a date which consisted of Bowling, Eating at Marley's, and wandering around the Harley Davidson shop. Then we went to a movie, and got to sit through the whole thing without taking kids to the bathroom. It was awesome. I'd forgotten how much fun we have together.

Things are looking up, and we are heading towards a new chapter in our lives. I can't wait to see how it all plays out.


Anonymous said...

Great to have you back Pam! And Happy Birthday to Andy!


Carter Family said...

Pam, Im so glad your back. But your post sounds so much like the last few weeks of my life. Since Jacob started school, I've been lost and have no clue who I am. Im so proud of you, and all that rhett has accomplished...

Get our room ready lol We are on the way

Carol's Crazy Corner said...

Glad you are back. I remember when Abigail went to school I didn't know what to do. . You may have inspired me to go ride my bike when she at school. You condo must be nice with a gym. Carol

Lacey said...

I knew he would love the bus. You know, there was a time when I finally broke down and started happy pills as I call them. They really helped me, and they are not expensive, even if you don't have insurance. Because when I started them I was flat broke.
Give that little turkey a kiss from me and Jax

Niksmom said...

Glad to have you back among the blogging! :-) Sounds like so much rapid change in the family's entire life that it makes sense to take a step back and regroup.

I hope the time you will give to yourslef bears the fruits which will make you happy. When Mama's happy...well, you know how it goes. ;-)

amanda said...

glad you're back too. and hey it's okay to remember yourself. :0) it's hard to do as a mommy sometimes!!

James and Summer said...

I know the story, even though we didn't spend as much time in the hosp. as you did. My li'l one is four and I am just beginning to feel like each day isn't completely consumed with keeping someone allive - let alone healthy, well, and progressing.
I had to laugh out loud and then get teary when you talked about him being naughty. totally get it - totally.
I just started taking a sewing class - something just for me. can't quite get my bum in gear to work out - but it's spring and anything can happen soon.
good luck! glad to see some really happy reflections!
Summer (mom to Abby Heterotaxy, HLHS, aspleenia) found you through IHH people.

The Bryant Family said...

OH Pam. I could write that post myself. I was asked where Karen went...where is the old Karen. HMMM< lets see, I used to go to church, used to scrapbook, used to have time for my friends,,,,with sick kids all of that is put on hold. I put a lot on myself to take care of but I couldnt not be in the middle of it all. We havent gotten all of tuckers issues solved yet, he still gets sick at the drop of a hat which keeps us inside. 3 years, going on 4 years of taking care of him first....and as you put it "we wouldnt have it any other way" but we have put ourselves on hold, our marriage, our health. I too told myself I was going to start exercising. I am pooped by days end and i know it is becasue of the extra weight that I could give two poops about...I just didnt have or dont have the energy to deal with that, me ...I am the last on the list of things to worry about.
All we can do is try....do our best and pray that God really is right in trusting us with our kids.

Colleen said...

I, too, have missed your posts! I love reading about Rhett, of course, but you just have a knack for writing, and I miss it when you don't have a story of some sort! Good luck with the exercising and eating healthier! It really does help a person perk up a little, especially now that the weather is starting to get a bit better!

Jess said...

Glad to see you're back to blogging...I missed you! I'm also happy to hear you are taking care of YOU! We, as moms, generally forget that we have needs since we are so busy tending to everyone else's needs. Even 15 minutes a day to do something YOU want to do makes a huge difference. Like they say...'If Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!' =)

TMI Tara said...

Good to know I'm not the only one who's trying to find a fine balance with everything and neglecting some things (blogging) to make room for - me! Great decision. I hope your health problems sort out soon. Rhett is adorable, as always. His smile just radiates! Just remember, the doctors set generalities, and especially special kids will create their own potential and abilities. Rhett will go far! I'm just glad his health is better these days. =)

Mommy Niri said...

so touching!

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