Tuesday, January 13, 2009

These Teenagers are Killing Me Smalls.....

Lately I have often been left to wonder what God was thinking when he created teenagers.

Surely I wasn't a back talking, thinking I know everything, eating my mom out of house and home, refusing to do my chores, mess making kid. I mean come on, I had to have been the best teenager out there.


I mean, my mom was a single mom working to keep our family going. My sister, who is 8years older than me, raised me. From the time I was 10 until I turned 16, I know I was the epitome of beyotch to her. But that doesn't count because she was my sister, right?

For the record we are now bestest of friends though.

After I turned 15 Yeah, I raised a little hell. I ditched school, I hung out with boys while ditching school, I sunk a truck in the river up the canyon, while ditching school...(Note to me, don't drive trucks in rivers keep to the roads.) I also wrapped that same truck around a tree going digging in the winter but this was after a dance, YAY!! I wasn't ditching school....AND this time I was on the road.

Maybe I wasn't all that great, and now God is looking down laughing at me, for now I am getting paybacks for all the stress I caused my mom and my sister.

Seriously, I am thinking of investing in a super glue or duct tape factory so I have something to seal my boy's mouths shut when they get going.

I am just 30 yrs old and I am already getting gray hairs.

As girl crazy as Hunter is now, I am in for it when he turns 16. There are gonna be a lot of girls out there with broken hearts.

Note to you: If you have 10 year old daughters, for your own good, please keep them away from Hunter. You have been warned.

You know, I also know for a fact that I didn't feel the urge to beat the snot out of my siblings on a daily basis. These boys wrestle each other like the WWF. Every time I turn around they are on the floor knocking things over and have each other in head locks.

Now Dakota is a lot bigger than Hunter, but dang that Hunter has some serious fight in him. I feel like a record player telling them to stop before someone gets hurt.

But you know, since their ears are painted on, it generally ends up in one of them coming to me crying that the other one got too rough.

Gah!! Did I not just tell them 5 min ago to quit? They get no sympathy from me.

Therefore I am a bad mom.

At this point it doesn't matter that I keep them clothed so they don't have to run around naked everywhere, it doesn't matter that I fill their bellies on a daily basis,(whew glad I reread that, I originally wrote, feel their bellies rather than fill their bellies...THAT could have caused some issues) nor does it matter that they have a nice cozy room to sleep in at night.

~Which is why from now on they will be sleeping outside with the dog.....


The only thing they see is that I totally don't get them, and I have no idea what it's like to be in their life, and I definitely don't have a clue as to how hard it is to be a kid.

Who has to do, GASP!!


I'm sure as I they get older, it's only going to get worse. I have officially become the enemy rather than the protector.

You know the one, the mommy that can make everything all better with a band-aid and a hug.

That's okay though, little do they know, I sneak in their rooms at night when their guard is down and they are snoring like a lumberjack sawing away at his logs. I give them a kiss, and make sure their stinky little bodies are covered with their blankets on their forever unmade beds.

You see, no matter how much they think they dislike me, and how much I am the forever nagging mom who drives them crazy, to me, they will forever be the blankie dragging, sippy cup toting little boys who once thought that mommy was everything they ever needed.


My Three Sons said...

First off, you must have snuck this post in because I just checked in a little while ago to see if you have posted anything.

Next, I could have very easily just wrote that same letter to my two boys. They would argue over what 2+2 is just to argue.

Now I only snuck my mom's Corvette out a couple of times when I was 15 so that still makes me a wonderful teenager right? LOL I can't say that I ever sank it in a river. Maybe someday you could share that story with us.

Hope all well,

Love you,
Kaci and Carson

Anonymous said...

Wait, you wrapped a truck around a tree *while* staying on the road?? LMAO! I always knew you Utahins (what *are you guys called BTW???), were kind of crazy, all planting trees in the middle of your roads, LOL!

Yeah, I know that's not what your whole post was about, but I'm seriously laughing my rear off picturing you driving a truck into a tree planted in the middle of the road, all while water and any remaining fish slosh out of the bed of the truck. (Wait, did you drive the truck into the water first? or through the tree first?) LOL

By the way, most trucks and suvs don't swim very well, I already watched a guy try to teach his exploder, I mean Explorer to swim while it quickly sank in the Columbia River. But that's another story.


Jaxsons Fight said...

Oh my gosh Pam, you wrote this one just for me. I say everything you said, um don't come crying to me when your head goes through the wall, I told you to stop already, sigh, boys.

Wendy's Mom said...

AHH Pam! Trust me deep down you are still the Mommy that makes everything okay!! If they told you that then they would not be a DUDE!! One day in not so near future they will let you know that they appreciate all you did for them. LOL!!
Teenagers need to come with an instruction booklet! LOL!!
Hang in there and remember Chloee or Rhett (and the other 2) still think you hung the moon specially for all 4 of them. LOL!!


Megan NcCarterFamily said...

I just love reading your blog. It atleast lets me know, Its not just mine. Gosh I can't even imagine a few years from now. Charlie @ 5 is already girl crazy. Hunter 8 isn't but the girls are crazy about him. I feel sorry for my husband and I cus because when the boys are teenagers they are gonna end up teaming up together and out smarting all of us! (That will also be the only time they get along) I know I was a *great* teenager. I didn't sneak out, didn't steal the car, nothing like that.. The only thing I did was have Hunter at 16 then I didn't have time for anything else....

Anonymous said...

You could have this published in a newspaper, magazine, or a book about parenting (think the "Chicken Soup" series.) It really is very cute and well-written. Your writing is entertaining and humorous and many parents can relate. You should think about being paid for your well-written short essays like this one!
-a fellow writer who goes get paid a little here and there

Jaxsons Fight said...

The little girls name was Makenna Bodrero. She had blond hair but not a lot. Tell me when you were there because I remember all the times she went in. She passed away May of 07. Are you really using the Rhetts journey site? I went there just for fun and it wouldn't let me in. Let me know, Lacey

Niksmom said...

This made me tear up a little —your last lines. *sniffle* Boys... *sigh*

Aimee said...

LOL... that made my day. I was quite the little sh!t myself. I don't think I ever sank a car but I know I took my moms as well an my grandma's on a couple of different occasions.

and I love your tweet about Rhett and child services. So since I'm child services, does that mean I have your permission to come and get that handsome little man of yours????

Koda said...

i love you mom deep down in my heart you will always be a mom to me.

Shari said...

Awesome post! My almost-10-year-old is very teenage like and it is scarey! Ugh! I feel for ya, girlfriend. Hang in there. I promose I didn't do any of that stuff you mentioned. LOL----

Shari said...

BTW--I never "promosed" anything, but I "promise" it. I am such a goof. Then when I hit the entry button I saw Koda's comment. It made me tear up a little.

Shari said...

BTW--I never "promosed" anything, but I "promise" it. I am such a goof. Then when I hit the entry button I saw Koda's comment. It made me tear up a little.

Ally in Wonderland said...

If you're their enemy, that means you're doing an excellent job. I felt my mom was the enemy from age 11-21 and only now have realized that she's really not all that bad. Smart, funny, pretty fantastic even! So the louder they make you yell and the more often they pretend not to hear you, just means you're doing fabulous.

Jaimie said...

I feel like that almost typo is going to get some iiiinteresting people to your blog!! (just think of the google search - eep!)

Anyways, I figure one day I'm going to be SO screwed...cause I was one pain in the ass pre-teen-teen (like 8-15). I already decided I've got it coming to me once I have kids. *shudder*

Oh well, I want 'em anyways.

By the way, thanks to you and Rhett for stopping by my blog and leaving me some comment love!!


AngieW said...

Wow! I am so glad to hear that it is not just my sons who try to kill each other all the time. Thay are 10 and 6. It seriously dirves me crazy too.

I came over from the site you are closing as I like getting updates on baby bird. My little one (10M)has T21 too, and so far has been healthy. He started therapy yesterday, and my normal happy boy has cried on and off ever since. I hope it is just teething. But my point is that it is helpful reading blogs like yours, as I can get an idea of some of the things I should be looking for.
Thanks so much for taking the time to write.

Blog Widget by LinkWithin