Monday, August 10, 2009

I Am Sick.....

Today has been a really sucky day.

I am sick of hurting.

I am sick of wondering what's going on, and feeling like I am left in the dark.

I am sick of doing things for others then feeling like a doormat afterwards.

I am sick of trying so hard for it all to be in vain.

I am sick of trying to make things right and it only being one sided.

I am sick of being stuck at home all the time and not being able to pick up and leave when I need to.

I am sick of not having friends to talk to in real life.

I am sick of my heart being an open door mat.

I am sick of the unknown.

I am sick of not knowing who or what to believe.

But most of all I am sick of hurting.

It sucks. It sucks really, really, bad.

8 comments:

Shari said...

Oh Pam! My Dear, my heart is aching for you right along with you. I wish I could make it all better and I can't. Please email or call. I am here if you need anything. Would it help if I flew to Salt Lake in Sept. to support you?

The Simmons Family said...

I'm sorry. I feel the same way somedays. My only conclusion is take care of YOU. Before the kids, before the hubby (for sure).. take care of Pam. It's easier said than done.

I'll email you.

Andrea

Leishman Family said...

Hi, I have been following your blog for quite sometime, my kids always say "is this Rhetts Blog"...lol But I would really like to get to know you more and I am right here in UT also. This might sound kinda strange but I have always wanted to talk to you but just never knew what to say. (Kinda like now) If you would like to please check out my blog at leishmanfaminutah.blogspot.com/.

Christina said...

pam im here for if you need anything call me ill be right there...love ya cousin christina

Aimee said...

I'm so sorry... remember, I'm just an hour away. I'd love to come up and just chat with you on one of these days!!!!

Molly C said...

:-( Hugs hun! If you are ever in NYC, we are hanging out!!!!

carolyn q said...

Pam,

I don't know what to write other than I am sorry for all that you are going through, which I know is alot. I wish I could say Life is Fair, but it's not or otherwise I would still have Hope here to love, instead of loving her from afar.
I completely undestand when you feel you have gone out of your way to help someone and they treat you like a doormat or that your act of kidness wasn't even appreciated. It does suck and it's very hurtful.

I hope things get better soon.

(Hugs)

Mrs Wibbs said...

Oh man, sounds like you need a huuuuuge hug :(
Here's one, coming straight to you down the blogowaves.........NOW!!
All of us who love you even though we have never met, genuinely love you, care and want the best for you;
R u on Skype? let's 'talk' on there: rachel.may.wibberley is my username...
Or email me, it's more personal (mrswibbs@gmail.com)...?
I know it can be so frustrating having 'virtual friends', but we are real people who want to be there for you just as much; the only difference is I can't give you a real hug, or cook you meals, or take your kids out so you can have a break, or clean your house for you, etc.... Believe me I wish I could.
I can pray though.
And chat.
And love you.
Get in touch honey!!
You WILL get through this. Reach out to God...?
All my love
Rachel xoxoxoxoxo

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