Saturday, April 25, 2009

The Joy's of Growing Up....

Remember when you were in the 5th grade?

Well I do. Vividly.

It was the year I started wearing a bra. I actually started wearing one in the 4th grade, but I was so embarrassed that, after my mom would make sure I had it on in the mornings, I would get to school and run into the girls bathroom and take it off.

The summer between 4th and 5th I couldn't get away with that anymore so I finally bit the bullet and started wearing it.

See, here's the thing. I was a tomboy. For as long as I can remember my friends have always been boys. I hated girls. They were mean and you couldn't trust them. If you had friends that were boys all you had to worry about was who could kick the ball in kick ball the hardest. Not who was going to be your friend one day and not the next day.

I didn't have any problems like that with boys. They always had my back.

Hell, even up until I graduated high school I could out burp any guy out there.

Anyways, I am getting totally side tracked here.

The first day of 5th grade I remember getting off the bus and walking to my classroom. All of "the guys" were hanging out by the outside doors so I walked up to them and said, "Hey."

There was always the loud guy of the group, we'll call him Fred.

Fred looked at me and said, "Holy Cow!! Pam's wearing a bra!!!"

My face went flaming hot and I was so mad at my stupid boobs. How dare they come out so early.

I looked at Fred and said, "It is not a bra. It's my swimming suit!!" I then went on to explain that I had swimming lessons right after school and didn't have time to go home and change.

All of the "guys" accepted that and we all went about our normal day figuring out who was going to kick who's butt at kick ball during recess. I'm sure they all believe it to this very day. ya right Especially since I got on the bus after school and went home rather than having someone pick me up to take me to swimming lessons.

I'm such a freaking liar. But desperate times call for desperate measures.

Another thing that I remember around 5th grade was the whole Maturation Program.

Which is the whole reason I am writing this blog post.

The year is winding down, and it's the time of year for the 5th graders across the country to be learning all about puberty and maturing.

Now generally I check our kids back packs every day. I looked in Hunter's and never saw any type of note or anything.

So imagine my surprise when last week his teacher calls me and informs me that it's the Maturation Program that day, and asks if I will give permission for Hunter to go.

Now I totally know what that paper that went through the wash the week before in Hunter's pants, that suspiciously looked like a note from school, was.

I laughed an evil laugh inside and told his teacher that of course he could go.

See Hunter is drama. All the way from the tips of his hair down to his tippy toes. He freaks out over girls, and gets so embarrassed when you talk about anything to do with puberty.

Unless it's with Andy. Apparently him and Andy have quite the conversations.

So anyhow, I go pick up Hunter from school and this is how the conversation goes.

Me: So, Hunter, how was your day at school?

Hunter: Fine. Why?

Me: Did you do anything special? Is there anything that you would like to tell me?

Hunter: Ummmm, No. (Totally avoiding my eyes so I know he is lying)

Me: Your teacher called me this morning and asked me if I would give permission for you to go to a program.

Hunter: SHE DID?!! Why did you tell her I could go. It was the stupid maturation program. They showed us how big and hairy it's going to get!!!

Me: (I am laughing my arse off by now) Why didn't you just give dad and I the note to sign. Did you really think you were going to get out of it?

Hunter: Well, ya. I can't believe my teacher called you. That is so wrong. What's even worse was that you told her I could go.

Me: Do you think if she talked to your dad he wouldn't have made you go?

Hunter: Ummm. Hello. Do you know how cool dad is? There is no way he would have made me go.

Me: Oh Really? Why don't you text him and see what he has to say.

Hunter: (Gets out his phone and texts Andy) Oh, I guess dad would have made me go.

Me: We're rotten parents aren't we?

Hunter: Yep. Big time.

So Andy calls me a few hours later and asks me what the text is about. I started telling him all about how Hunter purposely didn't bring the note home thinking he wouldn't have to go, and that his teacher called me that morning asking if it was okay if Hunter went. By the time I finished I was in tears I was laughing so hard, and Andy was in the same position. When Andy got home we talked with Hunter about it together and we were all laughing so hard we nearly wet our pants.

Hunter is absolutely hilarious and he always keeps us laughing. He is so awesome with Rhett, and so grown up. We love his drama, and the fact that he is going to break alot of hearts some day real soon.

I know some of you are thinking that I am totally sick and demented for writing about this subject, and my answer is, it's true.

But if you have followed me on the blog, Facebook, or Twitter, well, you already know that by now. <---Insert evil mom laugh here.

I love being a parent. Man, I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Oh and an FYI? Even in my adult years I have often found it to be better to be friends with men rather than women. I have still been burned by women, the last one just about a year ago. I hate the gossipy flah de dah crap that goes on with women.

I do lubs my girlfriends that I have though. I just don't get too close to fast. It's just me. I probably have some major issues that I need to work out one of these days.

Then again? Maybe not.


Carter Family said...

Oh that so would have been me. I would have made him go and volunteered him for things..

Yes I am mean and evil too! I was also the same way growing up. With a brother and him having all his friends over.
I remember one time when I was 12 I came running by the kitchen table in my pj's (I totally should have had my bra on!) and my brother's friend who was like my brother turned around and asked my brother
"dayum when did your sister get those" after that, it was no more running around the house! lol

I lubs you to Pammy Pooh

Anonymous said...

My daughter had the talk awhile ago. It said parents could come if they wanted to. I kept telling her I was coming. It was the same day a Abigail T&A removal so she knew I was kidding. Carol&Abigail

FBF Rothkopf said...

Sam's class just got the Permission Slips. The fourth grade girls are all a-twitter about The Talk. The boys are completely oblivious.

I wasn't a tom-boy, but rather the tag-along girl. Girly, but I had a much better time hanging with my Boys. And I'm still friends with many of them to this day!

Mommy-hood brought on the closer connection to girls - and that extra chromosome definitely brought some amazing Peeps into my life!

Lubs to you, too!

Jake & Stephanie Ellinger said...

That is so funny! I'm glad that my oldest is only 4 and that we have a few years before that happens. Either way, I would have handled it like you!

Ally in Wonderland said...

Haha! I remember that first day vividly! They made such a HUGE deal about separating the boys and girls so we would be more comfortable talking about "the stuff." All I kept saying to the teachers is "But, we're gonna find out one day! Why are we being separated!" And they called me a perv. It was so sad. And yet....we still found out about the "boy stuff"....

Amy said...

If you are sick and demented for writing about it, then so am I:

Love that your son tried to get out of it. My dd is totally open about it all.

Googsmom said...

Totally great post Pam :) :) ROTFL

Shari said...

I hear ya! I had all friends that were boys! For the exact same reasons. You crack me up!

Stephanie said...

I would have made him go and went with the video recorder. HAHAHA

MJMILLS said...

I can't wait for my son to go to the "program"!!! hahahha! I remember one day he fell real hard on his bike, and I blurted out "Hey be careful! I want some grandchildren one day!!!" I totally shouldn't have said that, but I didn't even think! So, my son says "Mom the girls have the babies, not the boys." I laugh everytime I think about that.

James and Summer said...

ugggghhhhh! fifth grade ;{

Tiff said...

I domn't have to deal with that for a few years but I'm sure my boys will try to get out of going as well. Thanks for the laugh!!!

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