I Think the Universe Hates Me....

Yesterday was nuts, literally, (and you'll know why in a minute.) Ah, who am I kidding everyday is nuts around here, but yesterday was especially insane it seemed.

It started with the cable guy.

Our Cable and Internet are included in our rent. They aren't the best services, but they're free, so I don't care. I don't complain too much. Well recently the cable company needed to upgrade the boxes, and went around to all of the condos installing them.

They missed us.

So fast forward three weeks, and I finally get someone to come out to switch our boxes. On Twitter I always get tweets from people saying how cute their cable guy is, former marine, dark hair, buff body....you get the picture.

But this is me we are talking about people. I get the scary looking fat guy that has greasy hair and way more body hair than any human should ever have. Never mind the fact that he has absoutley NO idea what he is doing.

Seriously.

He kept hooking up the cables, and couldn't get the sound to work. Everything he tried seemed to fail. He was breaking a sweat while messing with the cables. As I was sitting on the couch Totally tweeting about it. watching him, he reached down and scratched his nuts unit.

I sat there for a second before thinking to myself, "This guy did NOT just scratch himself in MY living room."

My breakfast quickly started rising in the back of my throat. I so wanted to hand him some hand sanitizer, offer him some scalding hot soap and water, something.

After some more messing around with the cables and eventually calling for reinforcements we finally got the cable to work, however all of my HD channels still don't come in. So something isn't hooked up right.

Oh well. I would much rather be without my HD than watch Mr. Scratchy Scratch sitting in my living room, while I sit there and wonder where else those nasty hands have been.

After he left I got out the trusty Clorox wipes and wiped down everything he touched. Then I got out the Lysol and sprayed everything again, for good measure.

Of course my Tweet friends wanted to know why I didn't get a picture. Simple answer is that I really did think about it, but my phone makes this little clicky sound when you take a picture.

What was I supposed to say? "Hey dude I really can't believe you just scratched your nuts in my living room, do you care if I snap your picture? Because my Tweeps are never going to believe this....Oh, and while I'm at it, let me give you this twenty gallon back up container that I have of hand sanitizer."

Welcome to my life people. Welcome to my life.

After the whole Cable Guy incident, I thought things couldn't get any worse.

There I go thinking again. Why don't people remind me how dangerous it is for me to think?

Rhett was playing on my bed, and all the sudden I hear that dreaded gooey gurgling sound, and then Hunter. "Ewwwww gross!!! Mom his G-tube!!"

Rhett jumps off the bed and goes running down the hall gurgling.

I run and grab him, get his emergency gastrostomy kit, as well as his two tubs that we keep on hand and full of medical supplies at all times.

It's like a scene from ER with me ripping open gauze with my teeth to cover his stoma hole, holding him down with one hand, filling up a syringe with the other hand, using my elbow to keep his gauze over his stoma, then filling up the balloon of his mickey button to see if it just fell out, or if it has a hole.

Well of course it has a hole in it.

I open up a box that has a brand new Mickey Button in it, and fill that one up as well to make sure there are no holes in it.

This one has a hole too.

So out comes the ghetto Foley catheter. Thank you God, this one doesn't have a hole in it!! I lube it up with KY Jelly and slide that sucker in. Rhett flips out and crunches up his stomach muscles and pushes really hard. The plug that is in the Foley Catheter pops out, and since you know, I just fed the kid, he has plenty of goo to push out.

The plug wouldn't stay in so I ended up clamping the tube by bending it and taping it to his chest. I know-I have totally awesome Macguyver skills.

All of this is done by myself, with a squirming three year old who, during this time has sprouted 8 arms and legs and become an octopus.....and it was done in under 7 minutes.

There should be an Olympics for special needs moms or something.....

-How fast can you switch out a G-tube?
-How quickly can you put in an NG tube AND get it in the right position?
-Can you hold down a 3 yr old and change a poopy diaper that's filled full without getting it all over the carpet and/or bedspread, all the while trying to keep the dog from licking everything?

I could win some serious gold medals.

This is what the aftermath looks like when you have a g-tube emergency and you are all by yourself.


Fortunately Home Health was able to bring out a new button.

Unfortunately for us, our insurance only covers 1 button every 3 months, and the spare we had was just received last month. We had to order two buttons, one to put in now, and another back up, so we just paid for two buttons out of pocket. And really, at $156.00 a pop, we didn't have the money to pay for it.

There went gas and groceries. Sigh.

All I can say is why Universe, what did I ever do to you?

I am adding a Pay Pal button, mainly because we are going through a super tough time right now financially. Andy's pay checks take home have only been around $150-$300 take home. Our insurance premiums are killing us, but we have to have it.

Car sales aren't the best. We are currently looking for a new job, myself included, but until then I don't know what to do. We have sold everything we own over the last three years, lost our home, depleted any savings and 401k that we once had. We still have to pay rent, utilities, have gas and feed our kids. Our family can only help so much.

When you take into account that any extra money we get usually seems to go towards medical stuff. (Rhett's buttons, Chloee's new glasses, etc...) It becomes super frustrating.

I am also working on doing some raffles, and we have some great products that companies have donated, so look for that in the coming week.

Above all thank you for sticking this out with us, through the good times and bad. We appreciate all the prayers and the friendships that we have found.

God Bless